The silence was almost as suffocating as the veil of toxins. The heavy dose of atmosphere letting the silence settle. Felice wasn’t sure how to respond, her eyes fluttering in and out of confusion as she watched Raz’s face. Emotions, totally new contortions of his features as a mixture played across his face.
Everything he had said made perfect sense. He had summarised it perfectly. The fear capsulated into a paragraph of clarity and that was why she couldn’t speak. Why for once the outspoken child of three was left speechless. The honesty far to much to articulate immediately.
So she sat there silent, nodding slowly to acknowledge that she understood pulling her knees up into her chest, as Raz had done moments prior. When she thought about it the actual idea of death wasn’t what was terrifying. In fact in her mind it was a release. But what really scared her was what she was leaving behind; the family she insisted she didn’t need, the few friends she had waiting for her back home, future marriages, future love, future life.
“I…” she stopped and sighed. He had stumped her. Shown layers of himself that she had never even considered to have existed. Stratfied samples of humanity that she just thought didn’t apply to Raz because of his hearty outer and near permenant grin. ” I know what you mean.” it was simple and arguably lacking but it was all she had to say, all she had to offer in return for his spilled confession.
Suddenly Felice scoffed, the noise rising and falling like a weighted balloon.
“I never ever thought I’d say this but…I kinda miss three.”
Raz didn’t mind the silence that Felice exhibited. What he had said was something she wasn’t expecting. The usual persona that Raz entitled, sexual innuendos and blunt statements, had been completely washed away. In fact, he sounded almost older, wiser than his eighteen years of existence. Many glanced over the male as a mere annoyance, never bothering to see what was under the surface; intelligence and fears just like the next person. He just hid it better; buried it deep under the mounds of personal pleasure that he threw himself in.
Was it the best life? No, but it was what Raz had grown accustomed to and accepted as a way to live.
The eldest of the two shifted so Felice was in his view; crystalline irises moving in the white pools of his pupils to stare at her. Raz offered a small smile, not a grin, or any expression that could be considered smug; genuine instead. “That’s the last thing I thought I’d ever hear you say,” he chuckled, bringing a finger to trace the shaft of his hammer before refocusing on his district partner. “If I remember correctly, you called it a piece of shit, more elaborately however.”
Yet, he did understand what Felice meant; that as the arena narrowed down in numbers, being back in three sounded comforting. A future could exist there. Life could be simpler; not sprawling in the death of children from their age range. If she had thought that where she grew up was hell, this stimulated prison was proving to be much worse. “You don’t really know what you have until it’s gone. Awfully corny, and it dampens my desire to be original, but it’s true. I miss smoking cigarettes and blowing stuff up. I mean, I got this gas bomb, but it doesn’t make my fingers itch to use it since it doesn’t leave the scene in a fiery blaze.”
Raz pouted; glancing up at the messed ceiling momentarily. “Do you think… one of us will win, honestly?”